this is it

All these years, I've been positive and patient.
At times I didn't have a choice, at times I took the challenge. Always believing that there will be rainbow after the rain.
In every bad thing that happens, I look for and believe in the good. I may have nothing, but I've became a champion in my own virtues.
Thank God for the tough trainings, I've gained much understanding and maturity. I've learned to be humble.
Though this has been one of the worst year in my life, I've been strong. I complained and I whined. But I never wavered.
I lost my spirt, mind, body and soul. Everything I worked hard for has come to naught. Often thinking I'll just collapsed while walking or standing on the train, I pressed on.

I took every, single, shit, like, a, man. And now this.
I love and care for you. All your problems are mine, and I took it all. Every restriction and difficulty you have, I carried it. I didn't even realize I put you before myself.
Women say, the men don't get it. Have you ever hear me say, the women don't get it?
I don't got any strength to go on. You hurt me so bad with that message.
There is no reservoir left. Let me close my eyes and go to sleep.

I want to be negative.
I want to be weak.

I just want to cry.
Can I?

where's the light?

this is frustrating.
why am i losing everything?
am i trying too hard?

Map your life

My 2feet tank has been running for exactly 3 months now. Though I’ve only top up water twice due to evaporation and feed my fishes once every 2days-2weeks, not a single fish has died! Therefore I’m proud to claim that my self-sustaining aquarium has indeed been very successful! Cheers!

The aquarium is an audience. It has witnessed a fair bit of emotional struggles, of physical deterioration and of mental suffocation. I consider mild, for I draw strength from others who have been through so much worse I can only imagine but will never truly understand. I am grateful. For the first time in my life, I can truly feel that my friends sense the severity. If they know..

All hopes are not lost, and the future seems bright. I believe in the future of my dreams. Life will knock you down and thrash the identity out of you. You will be confused and disappointed. You will be torn and weary. You will complain and whine. But your spirit must never be broken.

At the same time, i discovered new warmth and comfort. Ah that is sweet.
Lets push on harder, stronger towards what we have set out to achieve. Expect more challenges and excitement. Nothing less.

For I know this will be a starry Christmas.

Life is a marathon

One more week of holiday and I'll get my butt back in office!

I do admit its kinda quiet around here. Well most visitors dont tag! I'm even surprised people even remember this blog exists. I have sneaky friends haha! And thats good =)

Anyway, I'm into birds now! Don't get me wrong, I'm still very much into fish! Just that I was reminded birds were the first pets I ever wanted to keep, and they're cute! Lets just hope they dont dive into my fish tank =/ Through proper training, I will let it fly around my house!

At times I feel that I'm the most miserable guy around. Life just never seems to be perfect at any point. Yet when i see other people my age in wheelchairs, having need to go through needles every single day, it never fails to make my heart warm and assures me that I'm very much blessed. No matter what plans and success you may have in life, God holds it all in His hands.

What ever it takes, I must have the determination and discipline to finish the next 6 months of my life, its only a 2.4km sprint. For life is not merely 10km, but 84km or even more.

Positive

Apparently its the inactive strain, i think. So its relatively safe.
Well on another note i shall take it positively. Its holidays!!

Shall indulge in the occasional suppers, books, TVs and take time to polish up my languages! As well as doing my modules and learning some french. Wee heee paid medical leave! (for one week, hope they still want me after that!)

Life is unpredictable

You can plan and get all you want, things happen and you lose everything. Got my filter fixed, managed to grow 'HC' plants, got a bright prospective position at SIM and things happen. Now I'm very likely to lose my job, the next few months/years of my life, my youth and a huge sum of money. None of these had i planned for, nothing of my doing at all.

I'm only 22. Just when I managed to piece life together with so much more effort than others, it just have to happen to me.
Life seems meaningless for me now. When will I see another glimpse of light?

Restaurant City Day 3

WAH HA! I managed to get the maximum popularity 50 in RC! Full speed ahead to lvl 27! The next milestone is lvl 17 where i'll get my next employee! haha! Yes no toilet because its ugly and not necessary! Will spree once i get my next employee haha.